Christmas with the Dragon Knights
by LuneNoirx
Summary: When Lune spends christmas with her legion, she realizes it's nothing like what she thought it would be. Rated T for mild language and violence.


Christmas with the Flight of the Dragon Knights

Part 1: Where's The Lube?

Message: Thank you to my wonderful legion mates who allowed me to add them to the fun and kind of fucked up story! I hope you enjoy it!

Usually you would expect Christmas to go normal, right? Well, guess again.

Everything was normal for Lune, one of the short-tempered gunslingers in the legion "Flight of the Dragon Knights". Walking into the kitchen, she looked around and realized it was an absolute mess; with ham thrown everywhere, candied yams being stuffed in bomb-sized containers for latter's "throwing fest" and the unmistakable scent of charred cookies. Beer cans and eggnog bottles also laid scattered across the counters and floor. Letting her eyes follow the trail, she shook her head in disbelief.

"Damn it, Phantom. I told you not to drink the fucking eggnog!" she muttered through clenched teeth. Grabbing him by the ankle, she dragged the gunslinger throughout the room and dropped him head-first in the bath tub.

Lune was about to step out to head back into the front room as a handful of mashed potatoes went flying through the air. Glancing down the hallway, she turned her head and glared at it's thrower.

"Bryos." she said in a sickening sweet voice. He skipped over to her smiling, completely unaware of the danger that was about to befall him.

"You almost hit me! What the fuck were you thinking?" she said as she slammed a 5 lb science book against his skull. Watching him fall to the floor clutching his head and groaning about how science books shouldn't be used as weapons, she wandered off throughout the mansion to try and relax without killing her extended legion family.

After about an hour of finally relaxing, or in her terms, taking an extended nap due to boredom, she awoke to a tarantula with the name tag saying "_Theodore_" sitting on her pillow next to her. She let out an ear-piercing scream that damn near shattered the windows, and quickly hopped out of her bed.

"Cressa! Come here please!" she hollered loudly. She was greeted by a brunette Aethertech in a shirt that said_ "Spiders are awesome. Fuck off" _and a pair of fluffy sleep pants with spider webs on them.

"What's up, Lune? You usually don't holler unless something happened." she said as she approached.

Lune pointed to the spider that was molestificating her pillow, and then crawling on one of her favorite stuffed animals. Cressa simply face-palmed and smiled as she removed the spider from the scene of the crime.

"I will never understand how spiders are considered adorable to her." she stated while laughing a bit.

Leaving her bedroom and shutting the door behind her, she walked into the entertainment room to see Aalyssin dancing on a stripper pole and giving lap dances to Tiphereth with some fucked-up music in the background, Urza rustling around in a box of Dora episode tapes for "Tormenting Tip Tip" hour, with Gaara sitting in one of the bean-bag chairs alternating between playing Minecraft, laughing evilly, and setting various traps throughout the room.

"What the hell did I walk into?" she asked as she dropped about 5,000 or so kinah into the tip jar.

Deciding to exit the room before she saw any other moderately fucked up events going on, she wandered into the movie room to find Venthon, Recon, Yamiyo and Bob just chilling and watching the action all unfold on the large plasma screen tv, with Suzanne and the remainder of Cressa's "lovely" pets asleep on a pillow in the corner of the room.

She could hear yelling from the front room, and peeked into the hall long enough to see the Christmas tree Sayu was decorating get hit by the portable stripper pole that Aalyssin was using to beat the shit out of someone for not paying enough kinah to their tip jar.

Promptly deciding that it would be more fun to video-tape what was going on for the drunk and possibly hung-over gunslinger in the kitchen floor, she set the camera on the side table and helped Sayu pick up the mess.

As night time settled in and marshmallows began to get tossed around, everything was moderately calm until she heard Lissene hollering out "Where's the lube?". The last thing she heard was Crazy laughing like a maniac and petting his spider, muttering "Yes, yes, this is my cute little spider. Fuck you!". All of a sudden, Lune remembered the feel of a metal pole going directly to her head and knocking her out cold on the living room floor.

*THE END OF PT 1* *MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS*

*goes to find something for a headache*


End file.
